if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
