oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
she peed on how many people?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Randomize
