Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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