Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
