Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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