i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
