you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
