Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I FOUND THE LEGS
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
