I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Randomize
