Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize