Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
