I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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