you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
