I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
