If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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