They should really pass out barf bags in church
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
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