Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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