Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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