I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
