Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
