I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
how drunk are you?
Several
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
