don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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