Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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