brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize