you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Randomize
