They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
My bed smells like the plague
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
