I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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