Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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