I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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