I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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