Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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