is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize