Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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