Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
