Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
