if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
