last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
