please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
