And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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