If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
My cat gives me a boner
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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