Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
