What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
