New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
