I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
