You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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