Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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