I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
