we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
