Sponge bath it is.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
