A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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