How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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