I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
