idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
