He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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