TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize