Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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