Joe is yelling at the trees again.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
