Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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