It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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