Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
