Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
