Cold hands, warm shart.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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