we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
